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Home→Published 2016 - Page 3 << 1 2 3

Yearly Archives: 2016

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Guest Blog – Evil Twin of the Sub Divine -or- Chernobyl on a Bun

The "I Hate to Blog" Blog Posted on June 9, 2016 by Dan WolfeJune 9, 2016

by Beth Geyer

SubDivineFromHellAllow me to introduce you to this little asshole. I’d apologize in advance for the language but it’s already too late for that and I refuse to use the backspace.

My family’s pizza shop had this magical oven-toasted sub aptly named the Sub Divine. It was a glorious gold standard for hot subs everywhere. I miss it and every now and then I crave it so much that I replicate it at home. Usually with rousing success. I have, after all, 14 yrs experience making them.

I dropped the ball today, though. As I type this, my nose is still running and I’m positive I’m working through a mild stroke. Bear with me.

I looooooove spicy food. Love it. Always have. But I knew that if I substituted the shredded cheddar for habenero cheese, I better tread lightly. I thought I sliced it up thin enough for both pieces of bread (I had no sub buns) that I could avoid feeling like I was biting on Satan’s hairy undercarriage but failed spectacularly. In the picture you’ll see the delicious sandwich before I wrapped it in foil and baked it. Do not be fooled by it’s innocent look; I still can’t feel the roof of my mouth.

BethBlog

The lovely & talented Beth.

I knew after the first bite that something was wrong. The pain was almost immediate and was soon followed by shaking. I breathed through each bite like I was in labor and powered through half of it with sheer will and the power of prayer. I’d spent too much time creating this masterpiece to give up like a little bitch.

Alas, after half of the sandwich disappeared, so did my will to live. It was me or the sandwich and I chose me.

My tongue isn’t currently working properly and after blowing my nose and washing my face with cold water, I was able to stumble outside for fresh air, mumbling “Nothing about me feels good about any of that”.

This mofo ended up just being a bunch of toppings encased wall-to-wall in pure hatred.

I couldn’t even tell you if it was good or not. I *think* I tasted banana peppers and pepperoni at first but it was short-lived. After that, all I could taste was hell fire and every mistake I’ve ever made in my life.

Probably the worst part of all of this is the fact that I’ll have to relive the pain all over again tomorrow.

Look at that sandwich…..it was a simpler time and I was but a 35 yr old girl full of hope and wonder. Now Satan himself is holding a Fight Club meeting in my stomach and no one is the winner.

The lovely and talented Beth Geyer posted this on Facebook today and it had me laughing.  Well done, Beth!

Posted in Family, Stuff | 49 Replies

Cool Pictures That I’m In or That I Took – “Long Time, No Post” Edition

The "I Hate to Blog" Blog Posted on May 23, 2016 by Dan WolfeMay 23, 2016

Here’s another in a series of posts I’m going to make when I find some of these treasures. Some will be captioned, others will not. The only criteria for posting in this series is that:

a.) I’m in the photo or…

b.) … I took the photo.

1048983_10151701527509793_166610958_o

From a few years ago when Nate and Garrett and I went to the Potomac Nationals game. They got to run the bases afterwards and this was taken shortly thereafter. Fun night!

DSC_0022-EDIT

I took this at the STEM Symposium this year. Tom was checking out one of Turner-Fairbank’s connected vehicles that was on display.

Group

Fun selfie from nephew Andy’s graduation from the Army’s CGSS, which I presume means “Command and General Staff School,” but I don’t really keep up with such things anymore. To my left, Emily, Andy’s spousal unit; Andy himself; my sister and Andy’s mom, B.J.; and in the back, Andy’s’ Dad, Michael and stepmom, Brenda. ‘Twas a nice graduation conducted in the typical Army fashion.

HoC

Me in a Marine Corps uniform on the set of “House of Cards” season four.  It was a tense moment.

(A couple of these have already been on Facebook.  Yeah, this is a lazy man’s post today.)

Posted in Cool Photos, Stuff | Leave a reply

A Tale of Two Dogs

The "I Hate to Blog" Blog Posted on February 15, 2016 by Dan WolfeFebruary 15, 2016

Chloe1Many of you will not know about my dog, Chloe. Chloe is a Papillon who came into my life in 2007. The former spousal unit and I got her as this tiny little puppy. She was full of the kind of energy that fuels puppies of all kinds and as you can see, she was incredibly adorable.

Chloe&Gizmo copy

Chloe and Gizmo

She joined the family shortly after Thanksgiving, if memory serves, and quickly made friends with the other creatures in the house especially with Gizmo, the other Papillon who came to us a couple of years earlier.

Chloe’s disposition was not unlike that of every other Papillon I’ve met, sweet and playful with a nearly complete lack of aggression toward anyone including other dogs. She and Gizmo were inseparable and they lived together harmoniously with a wide assortment of cats and parrots ever since.

ChloeSundress

Chloe, all grown up.

Unfortunately, I was informed late last week that Chloe was not well and was unlikely to recover. She spent a few days in the pet hospital receiving the best of care and her improvement was negligible. Even though she seems far too young to be at the end of her journey, it looks as though that’s the case.

DSC_0073 It breaks my heart to see such a sweet, delightful creature in such a condition. And even though I held her in my arms on Saturday and told her how much she meant to me, she’ll never really understand how much she contributed to my well being nor will she know how much love she gave me over the years I was fortunate enough to be in her world. Even though we’ve not lived in the same place for over five years, seeing her again and knowing that it was likely that I’d not see her again is devastating.

Goodbye, Chloe. You were everything every puppy ought to be.

Chloe2
Which brings me to the second dog in this tale, His Emmettship, Ruler of All Things Within Barking Distance. Most of you know him already from all the Facebook photos.

Emmett

I’ve done my best in the last couple of days to spend more time with Emmett — you know, concentrate on the living and all that. Emmett as you may recall had a tough life before he found us and has been growing and trusting us more and more.  Accepting affection from humans is something he’s still learning to do.

Emmett3He’s happy, healthy and hasn’t bitten me or anyone else in ages, which early on was a serious concern. In fact, last week, we actually roughhoused a little. I was scared to death that he’d lose sight of play and get too aggressive too fast. He did bite once a little too hard but he immediately backed off. From this one action alone, he’s demonstrated that he’s learned a great deal and that he clearly does not want to hurt us.

EmmettDriveThruEmmett loves to go in the car and if I ask him if he wants to go to the store, he hops around just like I would if I had won the Powerball. In the car, he’s relatively well behaved and if we’re going to the drive thru, he’s learning NOT to stick his head in the bag o’ food to see what’s there in spite of the wonderful aromas of freshly cooked fries. In return for his fine behavior, he gets to share a regular Mickey D’s burger, no onions, no pickle.   As we approach home, he dives out of the driver’s car door and heads toward the front door, with the occasional pit stop at a nearby piece of shrubbery.

If I play my cards right, Emmett and I have quite a few years left until the finishing touches are put on his story. Or mine. Now that Chloe is leaving us, the best thing I can do to remember her is to make that extra effort to love and cherish Emmett’s companionship to the best of my ability.

I still marvel at the ability of these creatures to impact our lives. Emmett, Chloe, Gizmo, Bella and all those preceding pups have found extra space in my heart in which to take up residence for good. And it’s my experience that there’s always room in there for one more.

DanEmmett

 

Posted in Dogs, Family, Gizmo | 17 Replies

Cool Pictures That I’m In or That I Took

The "I Hate to Blog" Blog Posted on January 13, 2016 by Dan WolfeJanuary 13, 2016

Here’s another in a series of posts I’m going to make when I find some of these treasures. Some will be captioned, others will not. The only criteria for posting in this series is that:

a.) I’m in the photo or…

b.) … I took the photo.

DachshundasaurusRex-Edit

Emmett captured while asking politely for a taste of dinner. I call this his Dachshundasaurus Rex pose because he’s got those T-Rex hands going on there.

 

TRB-2016-At-A-Glance

This is a panorama I took with my cell phone of the Transportation Research Board exhibit hall at their 95th annual meeting this week. Click on the photo to open at full resolution in a new tab.

 

Nate

The Nathanator, of course. He has a natural comfort in front of the camera that can’t be taught.

 

DanEmmett

Emmett and I take short road trips when we’re batchin’ it.

 

Dan-at-TRB

This is purported to be the only known photo of me working. Truth is, I was just talking with a friend. So no, there’s still no photo anywhere of me doing actual work.

Posted in Cool Photos, Dogs, Lists | Leave a reply

From the Shameless Self Promotion Department

The "I Hate to Blog" Blog Posted on January 6, 2016 by Dan WolfeJanuary 6, 2016

“There’s no promotion like shameless self promotion.”
                — Col. Rich Breen

Here’s the latest from Turner-Fairbank Highway Research Center and the Federal Highway Administration. I didn’t have much to do with the production of this beyond some advice and assistance, but my colleague and friend,Taylor Lochrane, did!

Please watch this if nothing else so the number of views impresses. Taylor and his team did an OUTSTANDING job on this video, particularly the use of drone footage. And by viewing this, we’ll encourage more great stuff like this.

Well done to the team and to the Saxton Lab at the Office of Operations R&D and all the labs at TFHRC for the cool research that’s happening today.

‪#‎SayNoToStopAndGo‬

 

Posted in Army, Stuff | Leave a reply

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